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The Baby

At eight weeks old, I have to concede that Ezra isn't really a newborn any more.  He has unfurled and now greets us with gummy grins, coos, even the odd giggle.  His little scrunched up face has opened to reveal beautiful, big blue eyes that watch with intent as I move around the room, trying to keep up with me as I chase after his big brother.  His skin is no longer tinged yellow and instead is super peachy and softer than the Andrex Puppy.

Ezra has joined this family in his role as "the baby" and "little brother" seamlessly.  It's sometimes hard to remember what it was like just having Sebastian, it's nearly impossible to remember day-to-day life before either of them. I worried about Ezra not ever having the one-to-one time with me like Sebastian had.  I worried about Sebastian having to abruptly start sharing his mummy and daddy. Whilst all valid worries, things have worked out fine, just as deep down, I knew they would.

I still don't think I have quite got my head around that I am a mother to two beautiful, happy boys.  That as they grow, no matter what happens, I will always be Sebastian and Ezra's mother.   And whilst the responsibility I feel is immense, the love and happiness that being a mother has brought to me is indescribable.

I feel a little bit sad to think that the newborn days are pretty much gone but I know there are exciting times ahead and I am enjoying watching Ezra grow.  I felt ever so cheated of the newborn days when Sebastian was born.  Being born with complex heart defects meant that our start was rocky, to say the least.  This time around things couldn't have been more different.  I lapped up the early days with Ezra.  I made the most of the milky, new baby snuggles without the wires, without the beeps, without the worry of my newborn being born broken, the worry of him dying before I got to know him.  The early weeks with Ezra passed in a flash and I am sat here now with an eight week old baby who is changing every day, who has made my heart love that much stronger and my soul that much happier.